Conscious Uncoupling

Of course by now you have heard the news, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow have ended their marriage, but it was the strange way that Gwyneth described the divorce as "Conscious Uncoupling" that seemed to cause much debate about how pretentious she is. But if you read the article below her statement written by Dr. Habib Sadeghi & Dr. Sherry Sami, Gwyneth Paltrow announces divorce on Goop, you will see where she learned about this different way to view a divorce.  

After reading Dr. Sadeghi and Dr. Sami's article the following statement stuck out to me:

The idea of being married to one person for life is too much pressure for anyone. In fact, it would be interesting to see how much easier couples might commit to each other by thinking of their relationship in terms of daily renewal instead of a lifetime investment. This is probably the reason why so many people say their long-term relationships changed overnight, once they got married. The people didn’t change, but the expectation did.

This to me is EVERYTHING!! We are so programmed to think that marriage is for life, it is almost like a life sentence and if you can't complete it then you fail.  I have only been in my relationship a little under two years but once I decided he was the person I wanted to be my future husband I always thought in the sense of "years from now".   I will be working towards getting money sacrificing time so we can accomplish goals "years from now", or I will not care about if he is happy today because I take for granted that he said he will be around, he isn't going anywhere.  I can say that I see where I have made mistakes, where we have made mistakes. We have not been grateful for everyday, waking up every morning thinking how can I show my love today. You can easily get caught up in trying to build a lifetime, but if you let the days go by showing that love and appreciation everyday, the lifetime of marriage will probably be automatic.  If you take the time to see that life is moment to moment, not planned for the rest of your life, why should marriage be even different? 

So say what you want about Gwyneth but I appreciate her openness at a time in her life when she probably could have been very closed off.  I appreciate her sharing the lessons she has learned and in the process she could have saved many marriages.

Peace and Blessings,

KD

Victoria Rowell Shares The Harsh Truth Behind Soap Operas and People of Color

Do you love a good soap?  How many of us grew up having no choice but to watch daytime soap operas because our mother's and grandmothers ruled the TV during the time there were on.  My grandfather was the ultimate TV hog, but in the afternoons he knew who had the remote control.  My mother, whenever we were at home from school on a weekday was into All My Children, General Hospital, Young and the Restless and One Life to Live. Yes all my life I knew what was going on with Erica Kane but today longtime YTR star Victoria Rowell spilled some serious tea about what goes on behind the scenes of our favorite daytime shows.

Now let me tell you racism is Hollywood is REAL, I have dealt with it a bit myself working in the Television and Music industries.  She has not worked on YTR since 2007, and honestly I don't even know how they keep the show interesting without her?  African-Americans give so much support to these shows and the majority of us do not have a clue how much we are being ignored.  I applaud Victoria Rowell for shedding some light on this.

Living Naturally - Oil Pulling Method

From HeyFranHey's YouTube Channel, learn about the Oil Pulling Method. I will be trying this soon and will be sharing with you my results, feel free to do the same. 

 Are you suffering from asthma or allergies that just won't let up? Looking for a healthier alternative to help combat migraines/headaches? Or maybe you're having constant oral health issues like cavities, bad breath or gum infections? Here is an all-natural remedy to help you with all of the above...and then some! The Oil Pulling Method!

Kim Kardashian and Kayne West's Vouge Cover

It is here and it is FAB!! Now who said Anna Wintour is mad? Shot by famed photographer Annie Leibovitz, I know this is a dream come true for Kim. People will debate if she deserves this and I do not see why, this woman has lived fashion for many years and is a media icon.  I don't understand all the drama but in any case this is a beautiful cover.  Congrats Kim & Kayne!! See video footage of the shoot and amazing gif's here: Kim and Kayne during Vogue Shoot with North West

Got Edges?

I do not know about you but I am HORRIFIED looking at all of these grown women and young ladies with NO EDGES!! It is totally preventable and is never a good look.  The damage we do to our hair with chemicals, tight braids, ponytails, lacefont wigs.....the list goes on and on, is just heartbreaking.  I remember visiting a friend in San Francisco and I kid you not, EVERY young girl I saw in his neighborhood including his own daughter had NO EDGES!!!

Countess Vaughn the actress known best on "The Parkers" and "Moesha" spoke about her horrifying experience using lace front wigs. Countess Vaughn on The Doctors  The crazy part is she STILL HAS ON A WEAVE.

Look at some of these tragedies!! When did vanity take the place of common sense??

As you can see this issue affects the rich, the famous, or the woman down the street, no one is immune. Now we all know this is an issue, but if you are suffering from this what can you do? For you one go see a dermatologist or a trichologist.  Use natural products that can help vitalize the scalp such as Jamaican Black Castor Oil as discussed here: Curly Nikki Jamaican Black Castor Oil. And please use your resources, I love Curly Nikki's blog but there are several others with a wealth of information.  Please do not think your head needs to suffer like this and when you see this occurring leave the cause of it ALONE!

Peace and Love!

Looking for Natural Products?

As I embark on this journey to a healthier me I figured I will share with your some of the products I use that keep me A1.  I will try to remember to do this weekly as I try out new things or share my old tried and true beauty and health products.

Now I read heyfranhey.com and you should probably too because the woman is just on point and gives great tips. One of the best things she shared is the deodorant she uses, all natural from inlovewithbodycare.com.  

When I tell you this stuff works!  You will smell good and it lasts!! I used it right after using Degree and it does not miss a beat, I did not need a long time to get used to the product.  I highly recommend this because trust I am the last person that wants to be musty and this does the job! They have different smells and formulas but I recommend you try and see what you like best. The site also has great lip balms, facial and body products.  

They are usually generous with samples which is a BONUS!!.  I cannot say enough about this company.

Please feel free to share your experience if you know of any other great natural products.

Peace and Blessings!

Keeping At It

When I decided to take this 12 week challenge to get fit I honestly did not have a game plan.  I am not even going to say I have a firm plan now, but what I have tried to do is make better decisions.  I wanted this to be an organic change because I want to live a healthier life period. However, I am not a rapid change type of person so my diet and activity levels have to change gradually.  I am down about 5 lbs so far.  I find myself working out and pushing myself more, but I still can't get through a whole workout DVD just yet.  I still eat what I want but I try to make better choices when I do eat out.  April 1st I decided with my boyfriend to do no bread and no beef for a month so I will update when this occurs and tell you how that goes!

Honestly what I want to share is how much being aware and dealing with the physical part of myself is helping me deal with the emotional side of myself.  I am not going to lie I feel like these past few years I have been an emotional wreck.  My relationships were never in the place I wanted them to be.  I am seeing now that I am slowly getting back to just being happier.  Appreciating all of the good things surrounding me, appreciating my life and my family, friends and my boyfriend.  I feel like I can believe I am loved and can receive that love instead of thinking of everyone's negative intentions towards me.  Let me tell you my life is far from perfect, my money is funny, and I work at my relationship everyday!!! But when you see things with the glass half full you can't even be worried about every little thing.  You know that if you keep pushing another day will come to make things right.  So that is my motto now, I take it one day at a time and every day I want to do something to make me healthier and get me and my family to a place of financial stability, and create a happy home. This my friends is how to start and finish a year!

I wish health and blessings to you all!!

New Challenge

Yesterday I decided to start a 12 week challenge that Jia holds every so often. Follow her on Instagram @deactivatedfatgirl. She gives excellent tips and is just someone who one day decided she needed to get back in shape.  She is very smart and witty and I just enjoy following her.  I personally am at a point where I have reduced a little bit of weight after blowing up shortly after meeting my boyfriend, I guess they call it "love chub". My weight lost has been incremental,  I have yet to make any radical body transformations.  I decided I am going to start this month just really focusing on what I eat, why I eat it, and trying to make a workout routine.  Day 2 and I have already had a setback going into my work gym today.  I am not comfortable in gyms especially with a lot of people in them and today that is exactly what I encountered. After thinking about it for awhile, I think it goes even further than that.  I work with these people I don't want to see them in this environment, I also am always looking over my shoulder to make sure I don't run into a certain "person".  This is not a safe place for me, it actually is my boyfriend's domain, he lives in the gym.  I would one day like to get to this point but I know this location is not it for me, maybe its a foul memory, too much worrying about who I may run into.  So in the meantime I will adjust my focus and what I am comfortable doing, because for me right now the most important thing is to do something, and keep up doing something.  I am finding that in the effort to improve my body, I have to deal with the mental and emotional challenges as well, and I can say I am up for the challenge!  Please share your own stories and experiences as you see my upcoming posts, I hope we can encourage each other!