Conscious Uncoupling

Of course by now you have heard the news, Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow have ended their marriage, but it was the strange way that Gwyneth described the divorce as "Conscious Uncoupling" that seemed to cause much debate about how pretentious she is. But if you read the article below her statement written by Dr. Habib Sadeghi & Dr. Sherry Sami, Gwyneth Paltrow announces divorce on Goop, you will see where she learned about this different way to view a divorce.  

After reading Dr. Sadeghi and Dr. Sami's article the following statement stuck out to me:

The idea of being married to one person for life is too much pressure for anyone. In fact, it would be interesting to see how much easier couples might commit to each other by thinking of their relationship in terms of daily renewal instead of a lifetime investment. This is probably the reason why so many people say their long-term relationships changed overnight, once they got married. The people didn’t change, but the expectation did.

This to me is EVERYTHING!! We are so programmed to think that marriage is for life, it is almost like a life sentence and if you can't complete it then you fail.  I have only been in my relationship a little under two years but once I decided he was the person I wanted to be my future husband I always thought in the sense of "years from now".   I will be working towards getting money sacrificing time so we can accomplish goals "years from now", or I will not care about if he is happy today because I take for granted that he said he will be around, he isn't going anywhere.  I can say that I see where I have made mistakes, where we have made mistakes. We have not been grateful for everyday, waking up every morning thinking how can I show my love today. You can easily get caught up in trying to build a lifetime, but if you let the days go by showing that love and appreciation everyday, the lifetime of marriage will probably be automatic.  If you take the time to see that life is moment to moment, not planned for the rest of your life, why should marriage be even different? 

So say what you want about Gwyneth but I appreciate her openness at a time in her life when she probably could have been very closed off.  I appreciate her sharing the lessons she has learned and in the process she could have saved many marriages.

Peace and Blessings,

KD