It's official I need a break, I literally am at the same place I was a few years ago. I've been done wrong and I am constantly looking for clues, checking on other folks pages looking at pictures wondering why are they considered worth hurting me for? I stay up nights just stressed out because I can't get past PAIN. Pain that I had no clue I was in for. Pain that I thought someone who loved me would never inflict. While I deal with this pain I have to realize that I can't let it consume me. I have to realize that I am blessed and I need to count those blessings. I have to figure out how to move forward.
This is a replace society if a person is not blood they do not have to be in your lives and hell let's be real, sometimes family we toss as well. But this does not work for me because my love is something that is not of this world. It runs deep and I can never just toss someone that is meaningful in my life. But I cannot let the devil and toxicity continuously enter into my life, so I am in the process of evaluating. Who is actually here for ME? Did they just make an unfortunate mistake? Who is that person who never meant me any good in the first place?
Even though I am not quick to toss someone out of my life, I am no fool. I am very good at keeping people at a distance, although I still love and care for them deeply I will not be involved in foolishness. I have friends and family I care for but if they cannot or will not act right I cannot be around them. So this is my issue, I have someone around I cannot figure out what category they fit in. I can see it going either way. I can imagine a life of happiness and an abundance of memories. I can also picture misery and repeat performances of what I have dealt with this past year. I am certainly standing in the need of prayer and me and these people who I may repair relationships with will need to pray together. I also need to take a mental break. I will post when inspired but I think I need to look deep into my life and not worry about what I need to like on someone's page or look at their latest photos. Love and Blessings to all of you stay encouraged and blessed on this journey called life.
-Khocolate Diva
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